travelling / returning / arriving

[pax_athena]

[me]
I envy people who travel solo. I can't.
I'm not afraid of travelling alone (although I do tend to be a cautious traveller in general, but I guess this is a relative thing). But I do not enjoy it. I need someone to enjoy it with, someone to point out that building or this lizard to. If this is someone with whom I can compare this view to the other one from two years ago, it's even better. I understand the beauty of the landscape and the history of the city but I only feel them if I can share them with someone, reflect them.

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[me]
I love coming back. Perhaps even more so than travelling to new places. When the new and the memory overlap, when the surprise and the recollection overlay in complex patterns, when you see everything twice, through your eyes now and five years ago, comparing the past you and the current you and realizing what all changes in between and what stayed the same.
(Travelling intertextuality? Something like this. In any case, definitely related to the way I read.)

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[and this is also more about *me* than you, even though it sounds differently]
Travelling and living somewhere is not the same. I know, what a surprise! But here is a thing: it's really hard for me to find a common language with people who have not lived abroad for a prolonged amount of time (although this is not always the case; my partner has not lived abroad for various reasons not to be discussed here). It is not country specific. But there is something that having lived - truly lived! - in a different society changes about you. And yes, there is a part of me that rolls her eyes every time someone that tells me about the few months they spent somewhere else. I know it's not very fair (maybe it's even elitist; but then again I could also make an argument that it's a luxury to have a career - if you want a career, of course - that allows you to stay in the same country); but especially when it comes to academics - well yeah, sorry, this does not really count ...
(And there is no coming back, of course. Once you lived somewhere else you are forever changed. There is no coming home because your home is now a liminal space between countries and cultures.)

Comments

[pax_athena]

Ah, I see to constantly stumble over my words in the comment here.

First, I translated the German "nicht meins" idiom that means "not something I enjoy" in certain contexts to "not mine" which clearly does not mean the same into English. Argh, I hate when this happens. (I'm constantly trying to tell people "I am good" in German say when asked whether I want more water which just does not work in German.)

And second I understood travel for research as travel to research a certain place. Travel for research on tight budget was very similar for me as a PhD student when I could not add my own funds to add 1-2 touristy days and where German per diem are more than meager.
Plus even when having funds - often it's a question of time. I've been to Warsaw for a four days and haven't seen anything but two streets and the insights of a few restaurants. My first two visits to Madrid were very similar ...

Oh yes, about the mouse instincts. I'm working very hard on trying to get rid of them. (Still trying to find the cheapest hotel and the cheapest flight even if the personal cost is higher than the financial impact ...)

[thistleingrey]

Ah, I didn't think to rotate "not mine" into German, precisely because your English is generally quite idiomatic. I am used to it, though! Every card/letter and phone call I've ever had with my uncle, in which he takes pity on my German by addressing me in English, requires such rotation; his English is very, very German. :/ Anyway, got it, and thank you for clarifying.
(Heh, English ought to have a penalty for the dangerous flexibility of "I am." A friend of a friend--can't remember whether he's Danish or Icelandic--complained once, "I am blue, I am a great big ball of worry, I am parked over there. How is any of this possible?? You are not your car, even in Los Angeles!")

I'm sorry for misinterpreting the research/place aspect--I think that's my confusion, really. I did investigate place in a shallow way with those cathedral visits, but because I have no formal archaeological or architectural training and because the places have changed so much, it kind of had to be shallow. (Even if Worcester Cathedral still has its old scriptorium, there's nothing to say that all manuscripts written at Worcester were written down in that room--though it does have great afternoon light for most of the year!--and it's both a protected "heritage" spot and partially still in use; walking around inside wasn't permitted, alas.)

Agreed that time is a major factor even when money is not!

I think now (11 years after filing my thesis) that a bit of mousery is useful; there is too much waste in the world, and I can't see an advertisement for relaxing in the Mexican or Caribbean sun now without cringing about how little the US has done to help our neighbors hurt by quake and storms in those areas. But self-care, and habits that keep self-care from being forgotten, are important; indulgence is relative, and I think a certain amount of it may be necessary psychologically.

[pax_athena]

Aww, thanks, I'm glad to hear that. Though it is also very much function of how tired I am; the more tired, the more I confuse languages, in all direction and lately LJ/DW comments happen when I am rather on the sleepy side of things ...

Heh, I never thought about this, but yes :)

I absolutely agree that a bit is useful; also likely environmentally friendly in many cases. It's just hard to find a balance, especially when one's circumstances change.